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Friday, March 29, 2024

An Ode to Our Fright Masters: Eli Roth

Now while we’re doing these Odes, some horror directors might not live up to the expectation of others and that’s fine. Not everyone is a Stanley Kubrick or an Alfred Hitchcock. And while these Odes are not a “review” per se, I will throw in my outlook whether I believe the movies suck or not. So with that being said, follow me as we give an Ode to Our Fright Master:

Eli Roth, April 18th, 1972

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While in film school, in order to fund his student films, he worked as a sex chatroom operator posing as a girl named Tami. He was real good and eventually got enough money to jumpstart his first short film entitled Restaurant Dogs; a clear homage to Quentin Tarantino who years later would be good friends with.

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The short chronicles a man who orders a milkshake at a Burger King but is denied; they’re sold out. He demands to speak to “The King” of the BK and is taken to the backroom where the King apparently lives and reveals the reason as to why there is no shakes. His daughter; the “dairy princess” has been kidnapped by Ronald McDonald and his gang. Now this man is obviously the BIGGEST milkshake fan ever cause he offers to retrieve the dairy princess and return her safely to her rightful kingdom….all for a fucking milkshake. I mean at this point, why not just go to Dairy Queen?

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The film ended up winning a Student Academy and ultimate winning it’s division as well. Eventually he was hired as Howard Stern’s assistant for the movie Private Parts. When possible throughout all the hours of the day, he would write, write, and write some more. So flash forward a few years to 2002 at the Toronto Film Festival where a film was sold to Lionsgate for 3.5 million dollars; the highest sold movie that year.

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Written and directed by Eli Roth, Cabin Fever chronicles one of the main reasons cliches exist. A group of 5 college friends go to spend a few days in a cabin in the woods to let off some steam for a much needed vacation. Things take a turn for the worst when a flesh eating disease shows up to ruin their party.

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The movie was decent and showcased some gruesome and amazing practical effects. It was funny, it was gory, it was suspenseful and it was original for what it’s worth. My only problem with this flick is one word: pancakes.

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For those who do not remember this scene, after Trip from Detroit Rock City arrives at the convenience store and asks for help, this little snot-nose shit mongrel starts for no reason whatsoever screaming out pancakes. He then proceeds to jump down from his Deliverance style stance and begins showcasing some sweet Mac karate moves from It’s Always Sunny.

 

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Well…okay, the kid’s moves are better. But my beef with this scene is simply: why? Some people proclaim it’s the best scene in the movie because of it’s absurdly, comical, weird timing and others because while it’s funny it represents a much more deeper meaning; pancakes is simply a metaphor for the underlying theme of addiction and the plagues it presents itself amongst our youths. There’s drinking done at the cabin, there’s marijuana smoked at the cabin, there’s strong sexual relations performed at the cabin. See, “pancakes” doesn’t just adhere to drug use, there’s plenty of different addictions in this world and “pancakes” is the perfect metaphor to bind them up as one. The mere fact that this little boy asking for “pancakes” from a complete stranger showcases the extreme measures an addict will stoop so low for.

Or maybe it’s because this sequence is trippy as hell and it shows within our hero’s face. We’re right there with him thinking,”what in the hell is going on here?”. Is it a side effects from the disease? It mirrors perfectly the absurdity of the scene with what could be going on in the hero’s head and in return, Roth has cleverly put us in the driver’s seat.

There’s no way he would not have added that scene unless he had a good reason not to right?!

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Fuuuucccckkkk mmmmeeeee…moving on.

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Hostel was released in 2005 and gave birth to the new face of horror, “torture porn“; many may argue. Nonetheless, the movie  was a grisly follow-up to his freshman debut and it climbed the box office charts. Made on a budget of 4.8 million dollars, the movie raked in 47,277,326 in ticket sales. That…is…impressive.

This one tells the story of 2 American tourists traveling through Europe with their Icelandic friend Oli. Over the course of partying, drinking, and having sex, they slowly uncover the terrifying truth behind the cost-oriented, overnight hotel where commuters rent by the bunk as opposed to the whole room entirely: the hostel.

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Not as fun as Disneyland…but cheaper than Disneyland.

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The sequel is kinda the same thing but with girls this time.

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This is just Jay Hernandez in a wig.

The sequel expands more on the organization at hand; “The Elite Hunting” and how most of what they do is business. The real horror here is how the majority of what is presented has a hint of truth to it. Just read up some stories on the dark web and you’ll see. Or just take my word for it. Don’t venture down that dark path, you will regret it.

 

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The Green Inferno, his fourth feature project is a throwback to to the Italian cannibal films of the 70’s and 80’s. A group of social activists head out to the online retailer that shares the same name as the forest to stop a company from essentially destroying native tribes. They succeed and as they fly out their plane crashes. And unfortunately for them, the same tribe they tried saving…are hungry. It sticks with his usual MO in terms of gory spectacle deaths, funny moments, and a fairly written horror ending. It’s not bad…but it’s not great.

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His latest effort is the Keanu Reeves led Knock Knock where a happily married husband finds himself home alone with 2 “stranded” chickadees, and no not the birds although the would have made a family fun romp of a movie. The old fashion “cat and mouse” game ensues and yada, yada, yada; William “Bill” S. Preston Esq., Death and Station come in to save the day. In an after credits scene they look to each other and say, “there’s one more adventure we need to take,” before it cuts to black to some rockalicious tunes.

 

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So all in all Roth is an all right writer/director. He has loads of potential but I feel he hasn’t hit his stride yet. He has good concept scripts but ultimately fails in execution. So where I might not be the biggest fan of his work, I’m a huge fan of his work ethics. He plays music in between set decorations and scene changes so people not necessarily move faster but instead are not bored, he has two craft tables catering to those who don’t give a shit what they eat and to those who eat healthier, he listens to his actors, and overall he seems like a really cool dude. So kudos Mr. Eli Roth! And Happy Birthday!

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