Five reasons why the Point Break remake will suck.
This Christmas, Hollywood will destroy yet another cult classic film in an attempt to remake it. Remember that regurgitated piece of trash, Conan The Barbarian, from 2011? Â Yeah, the awful one. Now image that times 1,000. This is pretty much how bad the new remake of Point Break is going to be.
Not to take anything away from the guys and gals who performed all the death defying stunts in the movie. We salute you and your unnatural feats of accomplishment. We extend the same ‘atta-boy’ to the entire crew that had to film all this mayhem. Perhaps the most extreme feat of the entire movie was creating a production schedule of this magnitude and completing the logistics to get it done. That couldn’t have been an easy task, and from a purely Warren Miller-esqe point of view, it’s God damn impressive.
Our bone to pick is with the movie itself, not the athletes.
Who in their right mind is thinking that they can improve on the original matchup of Keaunu Reeves and Patrick Swayze. Throw in one certifiably bat-shit insane Gary Busey and you have the recipe for a classic film right there. Keep in mind, this was pre-Matrix Keanu, and he was still trying to establish himself as a tour de force actor. So, if the motivation to remake the movie is to out-do the original, you fail. If you want to honor the original, you fail. If you only want to make a cash grab,well… you suck.
In the era of Youtube and GoPro Hero, do we really need a movie that isn’t more than a 90-minute montage of extreme stunts? Every day, GoPro publishes 1080 High Def videos that are jaw dropping. We even had Grahm Dickenson’s wing suit flight on the site a while back. Nitro Circus and the Travis Pastrana crew have revolutionized the live-act traveling stunt show. So there is not a need for a stunt movie. Unless it was a remake of Smokey and The Bandit. We’d watch the hell out of that.
Naw…. they would fuck that up too, and Jerry Reed and Bandit would forever be tarnished. So, let’s get to it. Here is Slickster Magazine’s top five reasons why the Point Break remake will suck.
5. Johnny Utah was the quarterback at The Ohio State University in the original film.
Keanu Reeve’s character was a Midwest kid who struggled to fit in with the ultra-hip surf culture that he found himself in on the Pacific coast. We doubt that this story line will continue in the new remake of Point Break. The only Johnny Football in Ohio these days in Johnny Manizel, and he would more likely be the one robbing banks with the Ex-Presidents than chasing after them.
4. The extreme stunts  are cool, but it isn’t as relatable as surfing.
We have to admit, the wing suit scenes look pretty dang impressive, but it is an elitist sport. It takes years of practice and thousands of dollars just to get good enough to attempt free fall on your own, much less be a master wing suit pilot. Anyone can surf with a few bucks and the will to paddle out into the ocean. Â Besides who doesn’t like having a few brews with your buds on the beach with a burning bonfire and babes.
