Title: Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (AKA Jason Takes a Boat Ride)
Director: Rob Hedden
Writer: Rob Hedden
Release Date: July 28, 1989
Cast: Jensen Daggett, Scott Reeves, Barbara Bingham, Peter Mark Richman, V.C. Dupree, KANE HODDER!!!
Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan Cliff’s Notes
Jason gets revived – ’cause how could he not – and climbs aboard a river cruise ship heading to The Big Apple. While on his way there, Ch-ch-ch Ah-ah-ah occurs in the lamest way possible. Also, flashbacks, fake zombies, and way too much Toronto. ARRGAGHAG
Lecture
So, the string of solid sequels had to end sometime, right? Problem is, the whole series comes crashing down into a watery inferno. Even for the most devoted of the F13th fans, this puppy is a hard watch. The first eighty minutes are nothing more than a character – who may or may not have a name – encountering Jason and dying, followed by a scene of Richman being a dick to Daggett for no apparent reason.
And this leads to the major complaint here. There’s almost nothing that makes sense. Scared of water? Quick, take this river cruise. It’ll help. Someone’s been drugged by junkies? She should drive. Are you in charge of a class of students? No you’re not. It’s a cruise and you don’t need to work. Furthermore, the physics in this movie make little to no sense. Jason teleports everywhere. He doesn’t walk; he just appears in impossible places to kill teens. There’s no stalk or chase, just appearing. Also, how is he always wet? At the beginning, sure he’s soaked. He’s just climbed onto the SS Lazarus – Yeah, that’s the level of joke we’re dealing with here: terrible Bible jokes. – so it makes sense. Hours later? Still wet. Because Jason – beyond being a zombie-child/murderer/Nightcrawler – is also very sweaty.
Now, I’m not saying it’s all terrible. Once we get to The Big Apple, things pick up a touch. Excluding a scene where random junkies try to rape the final girl – seriously, who is okaying this shit? – the NYC section is more fun. The best Jason vs victim throw-down in the flick plus a few chase moments that actually work combine for a solid twenty minutes. Problem is, there’s eighty minutes before this that just isn’t any good.
Acting
Part of what makes this frustrating is that the actors are, more or less, solid. Daggett is a quality final girl and a few of her fellow teens – Dupree is the highlight – come through. It’s all the more impressive because this script gives them literally nothing to do but die. Alas, Richman is one of the most annoying characters in the series. I’ve seen his work before and it’s quite solid, so I’m imagining that most of this comes from his terrible dialogue and literally awful character. Hodder is, again, the best Jason around. Alas, he doesn’t have nearly enough opportunities to infuse his awesome into this flick.
Directing
Hedden’s film looks really solid. The lighting and camera work are solid, and he sets up a few nice shots, but there’s no tension until we get to NYC and, even when it’s there, is basic at best. Despite the fact that it looks nice, a good looking turd is still just a pile…
Script
About 75 percent meh. The twenty minutes we get to spend in New York are fun, and there are a few interesting moments beforehand, but the majority of this script is barrel scraping. There seems to be a little basic set up and then almost no follow through. Most of the characters are flat and the dialogue is uninspiring. Even the structure is start and stop.
Effects
Jason Takes a Cruise doesn’t even come close in this area. It really feels like they knew that there were going to be issues with the MPAA, so they don’t even try. Stuff is off screen left, right, and center. Even the usually solid Jason effects are lack luster. We get a few fun moments, rocks into chest cavities for one, but not enough to save this drek.
Highlights
I really dug the Julius vs. Jason boxing match. By far, best part of this flick.
Lowlights
Ah… the rest of the movie?
Friday the 13th-iness
Hodder makes sure this thing runs as an actual F13th movie, but fact of the matter is that this puppy reads like Friday the 13th – light. Especially following the last few sequels, this is a letdown.
Final Thoughts
This is, by far, the worst of the sequels. Even the title is a big fat lie. I get that we’re not going to be looking at Oscar winners in this series, but I swear to God that I’ve stared out the window for 100 minutes and it was more entertaining.
Grade: D-
