Welcome ladies and gentlemen to Haven’t Seen It Yet Movie Review. Where we take an unreleased film and review it based on it’s glorious and stunning looking trailer (if indeed it is both glorious and stunning) and give you our rating system of Eyes Wide Open which mean go see it opening day! Buy tickets in advanced! It’s going to be that great! Sleepy Eyes where maybe you can wait for the dollar movies or have someone else pay for you. And finally Eyes Closed Shut which means avoid at all costs in terms of view ability. At the end, we have our predictions of the film, so join me as today we review:
*Kate Beckinsale (Pearl Harbor and Click fame)
*Theo James ( Divergent fame and birthday party James Franco Impersonator)
*Tobias Menzies (of Golden Globe winning series Game of Thrones)
*Laura Pulver (of True Blood fame)
*Charles Dance (of Emmy award winning series Game of Thrones)
*James Faulkner ( of Game of Swords fame)
Selene is back as everyone’s favorite vampire in another feeble attempt to end the war between vampires and lycans a.k.a werewolves. This time however, a new war is brewing. One that is personal to her…one where he daughter is in danger.
And that’s the most basic premise of this flick. Now, without looking I must ballpark this and assume this is the 6th entry in this franchise? I’m sticking with 6th. I have not watched anything beyond the original but I can only speculate that this is one long ass war where even in time of war, there was time to settle down and pop a kid out that ultimately would be the key set up for this flick.
Now, you show me this trailer and any of the rest and I cannot tell one apart from the other. But hey, that’s just me. If this is indeed the 6th movie in this franchise (5th entry. I checked) then obviously there is a fan base for Underworld. Enough for them to keep producing them since it’s inaugural date of September 19th 2003 anyways. Every movie after part one, since then has been released in January. This is no mistake friends as January through mid-late April is what’s known as the “Dead Zone” of Hollywood.
Why? Well because summer is essentially known as “Blockbuster season” and following the months of fall is much directed towards “Oscar season”. Therefore, the beginning months of every year is where all sorts of movies are mashed in together with no real aspirations of winning awards or earning a respectful amount of money. There have been, of course just like in anything in life, exceptions. Deadpool and Fifty Shades of Gray which were released in February made a shit ton of money and warranted enough for not only one sequel but perhaps a whole franchise of said movies.
It was released during Valentine’s Day weekend so odds are any movie released there are gonna make back a good chunk of it’s production cost because you know, sex sells. No matter the movie genre or even the movie itself, chances are there are a lot of people on dates hoping the opposite sex will put out. So, going back to the seasons of Hollywood what does this new Underworld tell us? Who the fuck really knows. Honestly this isn’t an analysis of the box office receipts or determination of how well a movie will do in what season it’s released.
Check out the trailer friends before we delve further into this:
So there it is in all it’s glory. Yes it’s action packed, yes it has vampires, yes it has lycans and yes it has a lot of fighting. But honestly, to me personally I will have to give this one an Eyes Closed Shut. You won’t be missing any watercolor talk the next morning trust me. But hey, if you like, nay love the Underworld series then by all means go see it. Even if you are simply a tad bit intrigued by it, by all means then. I’m not here to forcefully make you follow my advice because honestly, that would be tiring on my part. Plus, a lot of work. You wanna go see it? Go for it. All I’m saying is there are better vampire movies out there. Stay home and revisit some of those.
Okay now comes the portion of the review is where I give you my 3 predictions of what I think might happen. So here we go!:
1.) My first prediction is a twist of massive proportions! The head vampire, the big old boss is in cahoots with the new Lycan leader in order to retrieve the blood of both Selene and her daughter ONLY for the head vampire to double-cross the Lycan leader and murder him but not before the vampire head is killed!
2.) The daughter will at first, after she is found, timid. Not violent at all. But in in a crucial moment in the film, perhaps when her mother is on the verge of being killed, her vampire instincts kick in and she goes into full vampire mode killing everyone in the room responsible for almost killing her mother.
3.) The movie will end with Selene’s death. But then suddenly, as the camera slowly pans in BOOM! Her eyes open and we cut to black. Giving lead way to the next sequel in 2 years because come one, this franchise has been going on for 13 years why in the hell would it stop now?
So that’s it people. My review for Underworld: Blood Wars. The movie is rated R clocking in at an hour and thirty-one minutes under the horror/action genre. It opens up January 6th 2017 nationwide. If anyone does go see it, please let me know through any of my social media platforms if I was close to any of my predictions and/or review. Because you already know where I stand on this flick. Happy hunting and good viewings people!