Title: ThanksKilling
Director: Jordan Downey
Writer(s): Brad Schulz, Tony Wilson, Grant Yaffee, Kevin Stewart, Jordan Downey (I don’t know how it took five people to write this.)
Release Date: December 8, 2008
Cast: Wanda Lust, Chuck Lamb, Ryan Francis, Aaron Carlson, General Bastard, Lance Predmore, Natasha Cordova, Lindsey Anderson
ThanksKilling Cliff’s Notes
A dog accidentally awakens an ancient turkey demon (it’s also a puppet) and it proceeds to go on a rampage. The targets: a group of people pretending to be teenagers (and also pretending to be friends).
Lecture
So, I was in the moon for a festive horror flick and, shockingly, Thanksgiving is a little light on horror fair. I finally found my way to ThanksKilling and… eh…. blerg…
The real accomplishment of this flick is that it exists at all. ThanksKilling rocks a miniscule – even for regional independent features- budget. Few of the actors had any significant experience and the creative team were mostly in college when the film went into production. The result is a flick that lays somewhere between impossibly bad – several of the scenes are so poorly constructed that it’s hard to figure out exactly what’s going on – to almost bearable. The “plot” is held together with ducttape and hope, very much like the puppet that menaces the saddest group of friends the horror world has seen in quite some time.
That being said, ThanksKilling does manage a few bonuses. Under the right circumstances – and with the right people – I could see this being is a “so bad, it’s good” set up. Sure, it’s not as engaging as The Room, but it does manage to include a juvenile sense of humor and occasional fun line. In other words, drink first, drink often, and maybe you’ll make it through.
Acting
Uh… No? All of the characters are either terrible stereotypes or so thinly written that the effect leaves much to be desired. Anderson probably does best, though her final girl is around longer than the others so she has more to do. Jordan Downey voices the Turkie puppet… which is something. Also, one of the actors is named General Bastard… so that’s something…
Directing
We point, we shoot, sometimes, we see things. Others are obscured by lighting or things just being in the way or focus. The pacing lacks any kind of control, but there is a kind of anarchistic energy throughout parts of the flick. ThanksKilling does alright when incorporating an incredibly juvenile kind of humor. So, that’s something…
Script
Nope. Most of the events of the script are either random – folks leave super-powered toxic waste around, just in case – or poorly plotted. The characters reek of stereotype and only have as many layers as the actors can attempt to throw at them. The dialogue is the strongest part of the script, though strong just means it’s been cast off from the latest NOES reject draft.
Effects
The word here is laughable. I’m not sure that creates a problem, however. The obviously lackluster budget means that the production team has to do a bunch without much in the way of cash money. The result looks terrible, but succeeds at being slightly funny if you’re in the right mood. Sounds like the whole flick.
Highlights
The face switch scene stands above the rest of the flick. Sure, the whole thing is highly impractical and looks terrible, but the face that everyone is going with it sells me on the thing.
Lowlights
Turkey rape. One of the worst things I’ve seen this year.
Final Thoughts
If you’re really drunk – or high, we don’t discriminate here – and you’ve got a bunch of friends who are also really drunk – or whatever – then you might get a few laughs out of this thing. Looking for anything else and you’d have better luck removing your own appendix.
