Top Ten reasons Why Las Vegas is Overrated
12/14/2015 – With all the talk about ‘What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas‘ going around, it’s time we shed some light on what is the most over-hyped marketing of the modern tourism schlock. Don’t get us wrong, we love when all the girls next door get dolled up for a night on the town. We’re even willing to put up some drunken shenanigans to go along with it. But, let’s be honest; Las Vegas is attempting to cash in on it’s mobster-run glory days. The storied past of gambling and good times is gone like a dust cloud dissipating into the sunset as the cowboys rode out of town.
Here is Slickster’s Top Ten reasons why Las Vegas is overrated.
10. There is only one thing loose in Las Vegas and it is not the slot machines.
With hookers, escorts, call girls, and every other Craigslist pimp looking to score a quick buck you never know if she is working or not. Watch your drink, or you might end up with a roofie leaving you and your recently departed wallet in deep trouble. Cosby style.
9. Overpriced food.
While many of LVNV tourists will try to get by on a strictly liquid diet, at some point most of us are going to have to eat something. While the advertisements may make the cusine look appetizing, there is a catch; the food in Las Vegas isn’t even that good!
One night we hit the buffet and it cost $45 dollars for some slop you can get at Golden Corral or Hometown Buffet for $11.99 with a drink. Fuck this shit. $10 for a McDonald’s meal. Are you kidding me?
8. Old Hotels.
Yeah, we know this place was the shit back in the day, but now some of the hotels are run down and look like a elderly care facility, where hopes and dreams go to moth ball. Seriously, Excalibur… Have you seen this dump? Don’t let the marketing fool you. The rooms all smell like cigarette smoke and cheap booze puked up onto the carpet.
7. Pushy street vendors.
Want to get haggled by pan handlers and foreigners with bad cologne and zero beliefs about personal space? No, we didn’t think so. If we did, we would go to Egypt. Our apologies to all the Egyptians who we just offended.
6. Low balling drunks at the card tables.
Place your bet and play your hand, or get the hell out of the way. If you want to pull the one-arm bandit penny slots with Grandma, they are right over by the door. Good luck, but we’re trying to play some poker here. We know this is your first time here and it’s cool to get free watered down drinks (See #1), but this ain’t a 007 movie and you aren’t James Bond.
5. Overwhelming to the senses.
There is too much to take in and do. Play the ponies, go to a show, and dance in the club… You almost would need to spend at least a week out there to do most of this over-hyped stuff. Except Penn and Teller, they are cool. Just because you CAN do all these things, doesn’t mean you SHOULD do all of them.
4. Strip clubs are a rip off.
If you’re in LVNV with the guys and want to go to nudie bar, it’s totally your choice, right? But when you get to the strip club nearby, you find out there is $50 for a cover charge. Are you freakin’ kidding me? What do the strippers have in this joint that we haven’t all seen a million times online or at the tiddy-bar right down the street?
3. Las Vegas is living in the past.
I’m sure back in the Rat Pack days of Sinatra and Sammy Davis Jr., Las Vegas was an oasis of sin in the desert. All the attempts to keep bleeding this appeal from a dry well is tired, old, and pathetic. How much class and style can there be with a lame EDM DJ playing tunes through an iPod for an overpriced nightclub? Forget the glory days and Ocean’s 11 movies. This town is washed up.
2. Las Vegas is dirty.
The strip is the true reality of Vegas. Some of the more glamorous hotels may try and cover up for this but, everywhere you look it’s dirty. Trash in the streets. Bums pissing their pants while they panhandle. All for the tourist to walk through, or take a cab.
1. The house always wins.
Yeah, yeah, everybody knows that one loudmouth guy who talks about winning it big on his bachelor party trip during his college frat party days. But anyone who has been to Las Vegas most always comes back with less money than they went with. The house most always wins, and the percentage is much more than most people realize.
Bonus reason why Las Vegas is overrated.
The days of ‘What Happens in Vegas stays in Vegas’ are long gone. Now with the heavy use of social media, within seconds of that selfie or the walk of shame, it’s immortalized and on the web for everyone to see. That includes your parents, your girlfriend, your wife, your wife’s family, your boss, etc… What happens in Vegas, absolutely doesn’t stay there, and good luck explaining that STD to your girlfriend too.
