What is a boner?

What is a boner?

A humouous look and answers about the the male erection.  It’s time to talk about dicks. Let’s go!

First of all; Great question.  Second of all, you really don’t need someone to tell you what a ‘boner’ is.  If you are capable of reading and searching the internet, you are capable of figuring out what a ‘boner’ is.  In the early part of the 19th and 20th century, boner was a common word for a stupid mistake.   For example, someone playing third base in a baseball game makes and error when trying to catch a ball batted to him and the result is the batter gets on base when he should have been thrown out.  That’s a BONER in the classic sense of the word.

But that’s not what you meant when you searched the term was it?  In vulgar slang, a boner is ‘an erection of the penis‘.  There are near limitless synonyms and funny substitutions for the word boner… here are a few of our favorites;  woody, stiffy, hard-on, pitching a tent, etc… Every generation is fascinated by this normally occurring event in a male’s life. Straight from wikipedia, here is a more in-depth explanation:

An erection (clinically: penile erection or penile tumescence) is a physiological phenomenon in which the penis becomes firmer, engorged and enlarged. Penile erection is the result of a complex interaction of psychological, neural, vascular and endocrine factors, and is often associated with sexual arousal or sexual attraction, although erections can also be spontaneous. The shape, angle and direction of an erection varies considerably in humans. ®Wikipedia

But enough with all the medical crap, what is really important is understanding that boners are common and sometimes ‘come up’ at awkward times.  Especially in high school, the fear of uncontrollable boners can cause young men a lot of anxiety.  One common story about boners goes something like this.  A young teenager is cresting over the the side of puberty, complete with a whispy mustache, voice cracking and acne.  He’s at the back of a classroom and can’t keep his eyes of a young lady.  She was no one special during the freshman year, but over the summer break she developed larger breasts than her classmates, and now this guy is compelled by some unknown force to gaze upon her figure.  He’s day dreaming and doesn’t hear the teacher at the front of the class call his name.  Snapping back to focus, the young man has been summoned to stand in the front of his peers and as he tries to stand a sudden chill run downs his spine.  He has a raging boner!

While older men might find this funny, at this crucial time period in a male’s life, this scenario is terrifying.  During this sexually awkward phase, there is critical time when the opposite sexes begin the become self aware of not only their own bodies but of the bodies of others. The threat of persecution or being singled out of the crowd for being different is real.   So what can you do if this happens to you?

Understanding what causes a boner can help you with this.  However, there are some basic tricks you can use defeat this problem if it ‘arises’ at an inconvenient time.  One of the first thing you can do is loosen the clothes you wear.  Tight pants can cause constriction around the genitals and cause boners to amplify. Also, a large baggy shirt could be used to conceal a boner if it goes over the belt line on your pants.  One technique that ever guy learns is how to hide his boner.  You can do this by discreetly pulling your boner up (so it’s pointing towards the sky) and tuck it under your belt.  This isn’t a perfect solution, but could work if you don’t draw any attention to yourself.

Lastly, understand, unless you’ve been severely injured and have a permenent (and extremely painful) erection, known as priapism, boners don’t last forever.  The blood that is causes the penis to become engorged will eventfully flow back out of the boner as muscles in penis start to relax.   Some guys try to intentionally think gross or asexual thoughts in order to cause a ‘boner killer’.

Mike Matei over at Cinemassacre once did a compilation of the Top Ten Boners in video games.  Which is a whole other take on the question.  Hope you enjoyed this brief explanation of ‘what is a boner’ and you Work for Laren for more daily content.  For more light hearted discussions of the male member you might want to check out these other articles on Slickster,  “How to masturbate without getting caught” or “How to Shoot a Big Load“.