Sometimes, it’s my way or the highway. When it comes to breaking up with a girl, there is no easy way to do it. Like a wiseman once said, “you gotta break some eggs to make an omelet.”
Consider yourself lucky if you already have a great girlfriend and are in a happy relationship. Don’t do anything you can’t take back. You may regret it for the rest of your life.
But if you’re in the sinking ship that justdrags you down, or you just need to go find your self, here are five way surefire ways to get that nag out of your life. Beware: Karma be dammned if you go down this road.
It’s MORBIN’ time!
Block her on social media
After the plague known as social media infected all aspects of our lives, it is one way to make a clean break with your annoying GF. It’s not enough just to screen your phone calls and block her number. Girls love to send sexy texts to try and lure you back into a relationship.
No! You need block every single FB page, IG post, Tik-tok… etc. Basically, be shutting down any self-absorbed narcissistic social media BS, you’ll send her a loud message. GTFO of my life!
Have sex with your classmate, neighbor, etc
This may seem like a no brainer, and will obviously take a little skill to pull it off. Remember you actually have to have a willing partner in order to get your dick wet with someone other than your steady.
Also, once you decide to fuck someone other than your GF, you need to make a choice. You are either going to be a cheater, or you need to be man enough to break up with her. The choice is yours. What goes around comes around, and if you think you can hide it your wrong (see above). Besides, the end game is to make sure your GF knows that some other woman can slob your knob better than she can. Time for her to move on!
Send her BFF raunchy text messages
So you’ve blocked on social media and done some off-shore drilling to the blonde co-ed in your turf science class. But, your super clingy GF just won’t take the hint. Maybe she thinks you’re a “work in progress” and she’s the gal who’s gonna take you onto the straight and narrow.
First of all, good job! Are you sure you want to break up with a girl like that? Second, she may be a crazy psychopath who dreams of cutting off your Mr. Willy while you sleep, total Bobbit style.
The goal with this break-up method is to attack right into the heart of the beast. Girls never keep secrets from each other, especially when it comes to their guys and sex lives. They love telling raunchy stories about who they fucked and who has the biggest dong.
So if you start texting dick pics to her BFF, you’re almost 100% guaranteed to have a break up coming your way. The only alternative is, she is turned on by this, and you get to have a wicked threesome. Either way; it’s a total win-win.
Argue politics with her family
Arguing politics with your girlfriends’ family (mostly at important family functions, holidays and other inappropriate times) is a fantasitic way for her to break up with you. The great part about this strategy is you don’t even need to talk sometimes to make it effective. With the media-fed BS echo chambers called “news” these days, just pick the political side that is opposite of her family.
Here’s a few examples.
Democrat – Roll into her mom’s b-day party with MAGA hat on. That’s about all it will take. Light fuse. Get away.
Republican – Any trending hashtag, #Standwith______, #Imwithher, etc… Good luck. Her old man might have a loaded buckshot aimed squarely at your vegan soy boy drinking ass quicker than you think.
Try this, and your nag of GF will drop you like a hot potato.
Tell her you rather spend time with your dog than her.
They call dogs “man’s best friend” for a reason. Sure, unless you’re into some sick beastilaty type shit, you’re not gonna get a blowjob from a dog. But when it comes to loyalty and companionship a trusty canine is about as good as it gets.
From the caveman era into the present day, relationships with dogs have proven to beneficial in some many ways. Maybe it’s unspoken bond between wolf and man. Whatever it is, just tell her that you don’t want to go out to another lame party and you rather kick it with Rover. She’ll be so mad, that she break up with up.
Done and done.
