How to kill some time when snow starts falling.

Everyone loves a huge white snow day.  It’s fun to go outside and play in the snow.  Blizzards offer ample opportunities for winter recreation, sight seeing and exercise.

However, there are times when the weather outside turns frosty and grey, and winter unleashes it’s cold wrath like a snowball to back of the neck. When this happens you don’t feel like venturing into the great outdoors.  Maybe it’s just too damn cold to go out and play. Your toes and nutsack feel like a Klondike bar. So, when Mother Nature transforms from summer lover to a raging ice bitch, most guys just want to stay indoors.

Forget the PG-13 stuff.  These are five fantastic ideas for guys to do when they are trapped indoors on a snowy day.

Have sex

There’s nothin quite like an ol’ fashioned snow-job, am I right fellas?

No matter if your doing it doggy style with your GF or wife (or neighbor’s wife for that matter), or beating the head off your salami, busting a nut during a snow storm is an excellent way to pass the time.  The best part about having sex when your stuck indoors on a snowy day is that it can be a group or solo activity.

For the single guys, check out Slickster’s guide to masturbating without getting caught, now an internet classic.  It’s a “handy” how-to guide on the best way to rub one out ninja-style.  If you live by yourself, then you probably won’t need this.

For the guys already in a long term sexual relationship, here’s some tips on how to up your sex game on the winter lockdown.  Obviously, NSFW stuff here, so don’t blame us when you get fired by checking this out your work laptop during a zoom meeting.

Fuck Like A Pornstar

Shoot a huge load

Cook chili

Cooking a huge batch of steaming hot, meaty chili, is an awesome way to pass the time indoors on a snow day.  Not only do you get a hearty meal, you can save the leftovers for when you finally venture outside.

Before you can cook chili, you need to gather the indigents ahead of the storm.  Be proactive on this objective or the only meat you’re going to get in your hands is your dick. (*See above)

Here’s a step-by-step guide to making chili for guys:

1. Do some research online.  Find an easy to follow receipe with idiot-proof instructions.  Guys hate reading the directions, right?
2. Make a shopping list.
3. Go to the store and gather everything you need. That includes any spices and large cookware that you might not have too.  Also, hit on the hot girl at the checkout if you’re single by inviting her to sample your freshly cooked masterpiece.  Even if she rejects you, at least you tried!
4. Prep any ingredients that might be needed for the great chili cook off, like chopping onions, peeling garlic, etc…
5. Wait for the snowfall, and this is a good time to accomplish the next three items on the list (*See below).
6. Once the white stuff starts to fall, get going early on the batch of chili.  It takes time for chili to cook properly, so don’t wait until you’re already hungry to start.
7. Serve with toppings or sides of your choice. Some guys like macaroni, other prefer a huge dose of cheddar cheese on top.  The options are endless.
8. Enjoy!  Remember to share with friends, family and the hot girl at the checkout.  Trust us, it will make your chili taste 100% times better.
9. Fuck washing dishes.

Retro games

Retro gaming is another bad ass way to waste time when stuck inside on a snow day.  When you’ve got plenty of time on your hands and no where to go, why not travel down memory lane?

Get all of your old favorites out and replay them.  For many of us, that means old game consoles like the NES, original XBOX, PS1, SNES, etc… If you don’t have your old consoles, your can always download game emulators for your computer.  Many are available and there are huge libraries of old titles that are ready to be loaded up quickly.

You will surprised how fast time flies when you have your old button masher’s in your palms and you trying to figure out how on earth you ever beat that one boss!

Declutter your life

So you don’t want to have sex, cook a huge bowl of chili or play vintage video games.  Maybe the snowfall that’s putting your life in a headlock is happening during No Nut November, or you’re trying to get in shape.  One of the best activities for guys during a snowstorm is decluttering your life.

Getting rid of items and projects that you don’t need (or unfinished) can be therapeutic on many levels.  It will remove distractions from more important tasks that you may be procrastinating on.  It can also help focus better, reduce anxiety, and feel more relaxed.  If nothing else, throwing away shit you don’t need will give you more space around your house… or your mom’s basement, if that’s where you still live.

Here’s one method for decluttering (it may help if you have a beer or shot of the liquor of your choice).

1. Start with your computer.  Delete every single non-essential bookmark, shortcut on your desktop, old email, photos of ex-gf’s, unfinished project file… etc.  All of it.  Then delete your trash bin.  You’ll never miss that garbage.
2. Next, get a large, sturdy trash bag.  55 gallon Hefty bags work well.
3. Clean the fridge and freezer out.  Then start tossing stuff laying around your house, apartment, or condo.  Get some momentum going and don’t let yourself think about it, or get nostalgic.  Just fucking THROW… IT… IN… THE…. BAG!
4. Toss the entire bag in the dumpster and pat yourself on the back for decluttering your life.

One word of wisdom; decluttering your life doesn’t mean people.  Sure, if there are toxic people around you, then you need to get away from them.  But, that is a subject for an entire different article.  So, when you’re throwing away things around you, make sure you trash relationships or people that care and love you.

Get stoned or drunk

As a last, or maybe first, resort, when you are stuck inside on a snowy day, why not get drunk or stoned.  Hey, you’re an adult.  You’ve earned the right to drink a beer before lunch or eat a chocolate THC-laced brownie, right?  So when the snow starts piling up at your front door, put on some comfy clothes, good tunes, and let the finest intoxicants you can afford soak into your grown-up blood stream.  It’s GD right as a grown ass man to do it, and by god you are.

Since we’re talking about getting high, you might want to check out our list for the best foods for the munchies.

We hope you gained something from our blog on activities for guys on huge snow days.  Comments below, or drop us an email.

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