Make It Hot: How to Get the Spark Back In the Bedroom

Did you know that almost half of all marriages in the United States end in divorce? There are no definitive answers why this happens. While some of these divorces are for the best, many of them are due to one or both partners no longer being sexually attracted to the other.

If this is the case for you, don’t abandon your relationship right away! By learning how to get the spark back in the bedroom, you can bring back the feelings you had for each other when you first started dating.

Focus On Yourself First

If you’ve lost passion in your relationship, it might be because you lost passion within yourself. By rekindling your zest for life, you will improve yourself and your relationship at the same time! This is an opportune time to take a long break from social media, toxic news outlets, and time-vampires.  If you surround yourself with “friends” who insist on dragging you into arguments, now is the time to put your foot down.  Focusing on your own well being, can be the first step in being a good partner for your lover.

Think about what you enjoy most and do it. For some of us, it may have been a hobby that you used to love doing a long time ago and somehow lost track of that endeavor. Whether you love hiking, painting, or playing the guitar, there’s no better time than now to start.  Find constructive activities that make you, and the people around you, better.

Work On Open Communication

Many couples suffer from a lack of communication. But communication is the key to a healthy relationship, both in the bedroom and out. Be open and honest with your partner, even if the subject feels uncomfortable or embarrassing. Talking about sex can be awkward at times, especially after you have been in a relationship for a long time.  This is because, as you learn more about your partner and share more about your own fears, weaknesses and flaws, you become more vulnerable.

Overcoming fear is never easy.  However, once you voice your concerns (if you have a good partner) you can find the courage to push past the fear and succeed.  You’ll be shocked to find how close you can become when you treat each other as both best friends and romantic partners.

Don’t Limit Touch to the Bedroom

Think about how much you kiss, touch, and flirt with your partner. If you can’t remember the last time you kissed outside of the bedroom, it’s time to make a change!

Don’t wait until you’re ready for sex to hold each other or get a little flirty. Not only is being affectionate with your partner good for your mental health, but it’s also great for recapturing that spark you’ve been missing!

Mix Up Your Routine

No matter how busy life gets, you should never let the spontaneity drain out of your relationship. Sex should be a fun and exciting part of your relationship, not a routine.  It’s easy to fall into a rut.  Guys, we know that many women act this way after they feel secure in the relationship.  They gain weight, they whine about giving oral sex, and sometimes even withhold sex from men as a means of control or just to be mean.

It’s important to mix it up every now and then, whether that be having some fun in the shower or introducing sex toys into the bedroom (or both!). If you’re new to sex toys, start slow. A remote vibrator is a great introduction to what could potentially be your favorite new addition to your sex life.

How to Get the Spark Back in the Bedroom to Improve Your Relationship

Every relationship has high and low points, and that’s okay. There will be times when stress from work, sickness, or other concerns take a priority over your sex life.  Nothing kills a libido like boss breathing down your neck for deadline, a headache from bills due, and poor diet.  Expecting perfection from your wife/GF and yourself will always do more harm than good. Strive to be the best you can be, but cut yourself some slack when you’re doing everything you can, but can’t devote 100% to 100% of your projects.

However, if you’ve noticed that your sex life just isn’t as exhilarating as it used to be and your relationship is suffering because of it, take the steps to make improvements. By following these tips on how to get the spark back in the bedroom, you’ll find that you and your partner are sharing the kind of intimacy that you had in the very beginning.

If you’re in search of further advice on improving your relationship, be sure to take a look at our blog!